We’ve all been there,

expecting someone to show up for us, only to be left disappointed. Maybe a friend promised to call and didn’t, a colleague brushed off a request, or you reached out for help and were met with silence. In those moments, it’s easy to feel invisible, unappreciated, or even betrayed.

But here’s the truth: most of the time, it isn’t about you. People aren’t ignoring you because you don’t matter; they’re simply consumed by their own responsibilities, struggles, and distractions. Everyone is carrying a load we can’t see, and sometimes they just don’t have the capacity to meet our expectations.

The Fork in the Road: Reaction or Transformation

When someone lets us down, frustration is a natural response. The question is, what do we do with that energy?

We have two choices:

1. Let frustration fester. We replay the disappointment, nurture resentment, and stay stuck in a loop of “why didn’t they…?”
2. Transform frustration into fuel. Instead of clinging to what didn’t happen, we redirect that energy into building our own path forward.

The second option takes effort, but it’s where real growth begins.

Turning Frustration Into Fuel

Frustration, at its core, is a signal. It’s energy looking for an outlet. If we let it drag us down, it becomes a weight. But if we choose to harness it, it can act as a spark.

• A missed opportunity? Use it as motivation to create your own.
• A lack of support? Double down on building the skills, resilience, or network you need.
• A letdown from others? Let it remind you that your progress is ultimately in your hands.

This isn’t about denying your feelings. It’s about acknowledging them, releasing the resentment, and then asking: How can I use this moment to grow?

Wish Them Well, Then Move On

One of the most powerful steps is letting go of bitterness. Wish the other person well, not sarcastically, but genuinely. They’re on their own journey, just like you. By releasing them from the weight of your expectations, you free yourself too.

Because the truth is, your future doesn’t depend on someone else returning your call, following through on a promise, or noticing your effort. Your future depends on you.

Choosing the Spark

The next time frustration shows up, pause. Breathe. Notice it. Then ask yourself: Will I let this hold me back, or will I let it push me forward?

Frustration doesn’t have to be your enemy. It can be a teacher, a motivator, and even a quiet reminder that the spark you’re looking for isn’t in someone else, it’s already within you.

Choose the spark. Always.